Me & My Virginity
Yes, you read that right, I’m a proud virgin :). A lot of people wonder WHY I am a virgin. I’m often asked whether I’m absent of urges and the answer is no; I just don’t let these urges control me. Animals are reduced to their sexual instincts; I am not an animal so I know they can be controlled. The way I see it is this- you can’t miss something you’ve never had, so my urges are probably not as great as other people.
People always say things like “you’re too pretty to be a virgin”… what does my looks have to do with anything?? Some people fail to realize that not ALL virgins are virgins because they cannot find anyone. Some actually choose to remain abstinent. Not all virgins look like trolls that belong under the bridge. How ignorant.
I think a big reason as to why I’m a virgin is because the way I perceive sex (ha! I bet you thought I would say for religious reasons, pft). I see it as an interconnection of two souls. I don’t see sex as something that is merely pleasure, it is so much more than that to me. I do not desire to share my soul with multiple people. I’d prefer it to be shared with my husband.
I LOVE the idea of getting married and spending my life with the man I love. Marriage is tough work. However, I believe if you get married for all the right reasons and DO NOT rush into it, it can end up being a good, happy marriage. Call me naive if you want to, but I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think people should run at the first sight of a “problem” (well, unless that problem is infidelity, abuse, or something similar). Instead of running from the problem, I believe in working on it. When you’re married (rather than simply dating) and problems arise, you’re more likely to try to fix the problem rather than ending things immediately. That is a reason why I want to get married. Marriage is also the ultimate commitment you can make to a person… it is like the greatest profession of love.
Okay, enough about marriage, back to my virginity since it is supposed to be the focus haha. Another reason why I am waiting until I’m married is because what will my husband have to look forward on our wedding night?? If I was having sex with him prior to our marriage, he wouldn’t really have anything to look forward to since he has already explored me; we would have already shared all of ourselves with one another.
When I get into a relationship, I’ll know that the relationship is not based on a sex, it’ll be so much more than that. This is another reason. I know a lot of you may believe that a guy will cheat on a virgin, but this is not always the case. If the guy respects YOU and himself, he wouldn’t allow that to happen. Plus, there are male virgins out there… don’t let people fool you lol.
Sex-free is stress-free (at least if you’re abstinent for the right reasons)!! You don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancy, contracting something, etc. You don’t have to worry about fitting sex into your schedule *lol*. You don’t have to worry about being distracted from things that should be top priority *cough* like your education *cough*. Sex complicates things and at the moment, I enjoy being uncomplicated.
Okay, so I could go on and on about why I’m a virgin. I really can. However, I recently came across a brochure at a company I volunteer at (it’s not a company for virgins by the way, we deal with HIV prevention & Sex Education). It’s called “101 Reasons to be Abstinent”. I will not post them all here, but here are the ones I liked:
1. Less stress
2. No birth control side effects
3. Makes relationship less confusing
4. Easier to be independent
5. No worry about pregnancy
6. Can practice self-control
7. Good example for younger brothers/sisters
8. Relationship may last longer
9. Easier to concentrate on career
10. Can make sure you love the person (rather than their sexing abilities)
11. No guilt if you have religious beliefs about sex
12. Sex may mean more if you wait
13. Chance to learn about the difference between love and sex
14. Will know the person likes you– not just your body
15. Sex can complicate things
can i just um hug you right about now. I agree completely with everything. and I love number 2. It baffles my mind when I hear birth control commercials and how they make it sound all modern and awesome and then they start saying well there’s a possibility of stroke, and all this and I’m like what’s the side effects of abstinence yeaaaaaaah!!!!!
I completely agree. Who’s to say that virgins are virgins because they can’t get anyone? I’m 17 years old, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now, and we’re BOTH virgins. I have made the decision to save myself ’til marriage (and I’m no where near religious), and he said that he’s both ready and not so ready. I think my idea of saving virginity until marriage has affected him and made him the same way.
I know I’m going to marry him. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. But even with that in mind, it still doesn’t change my mind about it. I don’t want to get pregnant at 17. I want to have a child when I’m ready, when I’m old enough, and when I know they will have a father that will be there for them and love them.
I always have respect for people who are virgins at our age. Be proud!
And I do agree with you on all points.
i know, im pretty young im only 11, but i know all about this stuff, my bro is 22 and his friend just got pregnant, and guess what her so called ” baby’s son” left her so you are very smart
*hugs Clairessa* :tongue: . & yes, toooooo many side effects. It’s so funny when medication is like may cause: heart failure, explosive diarrhea, stroke, brain failure, blurred vision (I’m clearly overexaggerating, but you know what I mean). It’s like wtf?? Why would I even bother?!
Manda, that is so cool you’re with someone else who’s a virgin. That put a smile on my face :D.
Bri, I am so proud, I’ll scream it from mountain tops! Haha.
Lulu, although you’re young, I’m happy you know and are smart.
people like it because it is pleasent and enjoyable
I totally agree with you! I know I am way to young to be talking about sex ,but the truth is sex is happening at a younger age. I feel it is important to educate youth about sex.
I COMPLETELY agree with you! Like you said, it’s just so much better to just wait. Unfortunately, so many people only think about the “right-here-right-now” aspect instead of the long-term.
this really isn’t a subject i can give advice on, seeing as im 22 with 3 kids (not married) but i do agree with you although i dont and never will regret my kids in any way.. sometimes i wish i could have at least waited..
and trust sex is not what alot of people make it out to be .. seriously if it’s sex just to have sex … its like watching a TV show you cant wait to end
I agree with you completely, I know a 7th grader who’s already got 2 kids. Your something special, unique, smart, well educated, I’m proud to’ve come to your site. Good job for you. Why would a girl do anything like sex when it could totally ruin their life? Being able to go on through your life and say “No I haven’t and I don’t plan to until I’m good and ready” is something important that I even say to older girls, and they listen to me. Your site is amazing, and you have very helpful tips
Even though I may not be religious, I do not believe in rushing sex. If you have sex at an early age 14-20 you may have terrible regrets and feel sick. Some even suicidal. I don’t believe in having sex after marriage but I don’t agree people should be having sex in their teens. Maybe they could, if they are READY. But once your virginity is lost..its gone forever. So is your innocence of childhood.
Everyone is amazed how I’ve never had a boyfriend, and they same I’m too pretty to be single. Well, w/e LOL.
Mimi, I wish there were more people with the same views as yours. This society would be alot better if there weren’t thirteen year old girls having children. It’s not right, don’t they understand they have their whole lives ahead of them for that? Don’t they understand the consequences? How will they ever have respect from anyone else, if they have no respect for themselves? I’m not just digging at girls here either, boys may probably think that its okay for them, because they can’t have children. Well, it’s their problem too, I doubt any teenage boy would like to spend his time changing nappies and such. A baby is the responsibility of the mother AND father.
There are much, much more important things to be doing in your teenage years than focusing on sex. I like all the reasons you have put down, however I do believe in sex before marriage but only if you’re legally over the age, both ready and willing, both safe and protected and like/love the person. I do believe people should wait until the time is right for them, whether that be after marriage, or just over the legal age.
Being a virgin for the reasons you have specified is something to be proud of, it shows self respect, control and independence. Making your own decisions and not giving into peer pressure. People who say it’s because they can’t get any are pathetic. People who say you’re too pretty to be a virgin are also pathetic. The prettiest person alive could be the most horrible (I don’t mean you Mimi :)), and appearance should not really matter.
Sorry for the long comment, but this is a subject I feel strongly about.
I totally agree with you!
I am a proud virgin too. Okay, i’m 16, but does that matters? I want to loose my virginity after my marriage, because i don’t want to get pregnant on a young age.
And the sex will be much prettier, you’ve waited a long time with your boyfriend. (Okay, i think)
I agree with this entire article, however I don’t like the animal comment you made because a lot of animals are forced to do such things. (I’m an animal right activist – look at puppy mills and many other mills that capture animals and force them to do such things till they die). Anyways, I’ve been told that I was thought to be a slut, whore, prostitute and many other things just because of my looks, and I think it’s just stupid. Thanks so much for writing this article. It makes it that much easier to hold on knowing that I’m not the only one doing so.
well am Virgin too and i want WHY? cuz i want it to be special i dont wanna loose my Virginity with any one
Ahh! Finally come sense in sex-craving world of ours! I remember when I was 12, some kids already ‘had it’ or were saying ‘I can’t wait `till I’m 16!’ (the legal age where I live). That totally creeped me out. I reckon that more people should be following your example and waiting, because in some ways, it’s not that bigger deal about whether or not you’ve had sex by a certain age. I’m not religiously restricted or anything either.
Dream: I’ve heard that too. Mainly “You should be a hooker, you’re blonde & pretty”
It’s disgusting, isn’t it?
I totally agree with this
I had a thing with this guy and he wanted to go all the way, but I told him no. What I loved most is that he respected that and said he wouldn’t ask again. The right guys are the ones that respect your boundaries.
Thank you for this post! I’m always happy to hear people talking about the right things in life.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 6 years and we are both virgins (I’m 21). I’ll never regret not for one moment this decision that we took, which is to wait until marriage. This is for religious reasons, but even if religion wasn’t such a big part of our lives, I think we would have made the same choices.
It’s true that a few people irritated me with all the typical stupid questions and the teasing, but I am proud to be a virgin and I will always keep on encouraging abstinence for as long as I live. And this is because of the confusion young people make between love and sex.
It’s true what you said, about two souls giving themselves to one a nother, rather than two bodies. Do you really want to give your entire self to everyone, just like that? Don’t you want a commitement first?
Anyway, hopefully, next year me and my boyfriend will get married and start our life together. Virgins rock!
Hi Mimi, I am very please to read your article, i am the same age as you and also a virgin and most of my friends have lost their virginity and sometimes i feel there is a pressure on me to do the same but now i’ve read your article I feel myself again and I will wait till I am ready, my bf is also a virgin which I think is special. Keep up the words of wisdom girl!
I only just found this website about twenty minutes ago, but I’m already having a great time reading all these articles
Anyways, on to the comment…
I’m so glad someone else shares my views. I’m only 13 at the moment, but already people in my grade are saying, “Oh, my boyfriend asked me to sleep with him,” or daring each other to have sex. It’s really stupid AND disgusting, in my opinion. Why do people think that you can’t be cool if you don’t lose your virginity when you’re not even out of middle school yet? I’ve decided I want to wait until I’m married too, and I’m psyched that I found other people who agree with me. I haven’t been asked why I’m still a virgin yet (even 13 year olds have their limits xD), but people do say to me, “Oh, Kat, you’re so pretty! Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I always think, “Are you stupid?!?! Your boyfriend shouldn’t care what you look like or whether you’re a virgin.” Nobody really seems to realize how important some ‘old-fashioned’ things are.
Eh, that was a long comment. Oh well, I’m glad I found your website, Mimi!
I love this post! Very well said and clearly stated! I am 23 years old and still a virgin & I’m waiting until marriage as well.
omg it’s so true! i am proud to be virgin too and a lot of people tell me that i’m too pretty to be virgin too :o
OMG YOUR SO RIGHT!!
This is my first time at your website and I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR BLOGS!! 
This one really caught my attention.. I’m sure it catches everybodys.
I am always waiting until marriage. Yes, for religious reasons, but also for personal reasons like you said, a relationship that is not about sex and such. I’m pretty sure I’ve found the guy I want to marry someday, if its God’s will. Anyhow!! YOU ROCK!! its awesome how your not ashamed of it.
&& were both in our senior year!! WHOOT WHOOT!
Wow. I admire how you could say all of that! I agree with EVERY word that you said! You’re amazing! Keep up your amazing virginity!!
Blogs like these remind me why I don’t try to get guys. Sorry, but I don’t wanna lose my virginity before I get my permit…I wanna be married before I Iose it.