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Blacks don’t speak properly??

February 22nd, 2011

I have to do a better job of updating this thing, huh? Three posts since Jan 30th (well now four, including this one). I think I am doing much better than last year, haha. I have absolutely no clue as to what to write on this blog, but I DID tell myself I would make this site more personal, so I suppose I can talk about something that occurred this past weekend (sn: added a photos section to make it more personal).

I was standing on the escalator while my best friend decided to walk up the escalator. Out of nowhere, this guy taps me on my shoulder and just started speaking to me. He wasn’t disrespectful or hostile or anything, so I figured I’d hold a conversation with him (and his friend, who was there, too). He asked me several times if he could have my number and to which I replied “no.” He asked for my Facebook. He asked if I had a Myspace. Every answer was NO. He just wouldn’t accept that (he should’ve read my article on approaching women and pay attention to #7). Eventually he stopped talking to me when I told him I did not want to be ANYTHING with him (he asked if we could be friends, associates, and even business partners O_o). At some point during the conversation, he asked me if I was biracial because I spoke properly. He told me that I could not be “regular Black.”

Regular Black. Regular Black? What does that even mean?? I told him I was not mixed, I was indeed African-American and he looked baffled. I was offended and saddened by his ignorance. He basically insinuated that speaking properly is something that other races do and not Black people. Never have I associated speaking properly with a certain race. It’s just so ignorant.

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16 Responses to “Blacks don’t speak properly??”

I think that “regular Black” refers to the Black people in the deep South who speak with a strong southern accent dating back to the days of the Civil War. My problem with “regular Black” people is that they don’t speak properly, and that they are stuck in a social-economic hole, and haven’t made much progress getting out in many years (tell me if I’m wrong, but that is the impression that I have) even though I feel like that there are many resources directed towards them (again, tell me if I’m wrong). I guess it’s a cultural thing that I don’t like, not the fact that they’re Black. You’re indeed much better than that.

And thank god you probably won’t be seeing that guy ever again.

Love always, Stephanie // February 22, 2011 at 8:40 pm

I definitely understand agree that resources are available and not necessarily taken advantage. I think the majority of Black people place themselves in situations rather than naturally having immobility or whatever in the economic system. As for that regular Black speech, I feel like he was moreso talking about using slang and the tone in which a person speaks (which can be the case in the South).

Love always, Mimi // February 26, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Hello! You are wrong actually, I for one, live in the deep south. So, correct me if I’M wrong, you’re referring to everyone in the deep south as “regular blacks”. Why don’t you go visit the *deep* south, before you go and judge. That’s just me, correcting you, because you are wrong. I live in the south, but I speak highly articulate. So, don’t judge blacks by where they came from, but by who they are as a human being. I’ve never heard of a *regular black* in my life and you sound like the ignorant one. Thanks.

Love always, Mia // May 4, 2011 at 8:43 am

I have been learning about stereotypes in my psychology class. I’m not sure if you are familiar with this or not, but our minds basically form stereotypes so we don’t waste time analyzing each stranger in depth. Sometimes there are true stereotypes, but it is impossible for every person to fit a stereotype associated to their race, and oftentimes the stereotype no longer holds true for the majority. An interesting fact that I learned from a study is that even black people recognized stereotypes (I stress at the SUBCONSCIOUS level) of their own race. This guy is ignorant and out of your league if he is to believe a stereotype like that. To be honest he was probably thinking out loud, and in an offensive way, letting you know that you don’t fit the regular “stereotype.” Regardless, I would have found the same thing offensive.

Love always, Sarah // February 23, 2011 at 9:56 pm

I majored in Psych in undergrad so yep, I know all about us using stereotypes as short cuts. And yeah, maybe he was just thinking out loud. I’m glad his thoughts surfaced early on though… Otherwise, I would’ve been fooled! (Well, not really, I wasn’t interested anyways)

Love always, Mimi // February 26, 2011 at 1:58 pm

“We have to do better people,” is the only thought that crosses my mind when I hear people say that. For the past year or two I’ve been dealing with that same issue Mimi and it’s coming to the point where I don’t even let it get to me anymore. My uncle even told me to stop talking proper one day and that I should sound country like the rest of my family, when I’m not even from downsouth. And what irks me even more is when people say “You talk white.” Excuse me, it’s called speaking properly like you have some sense.

I just wish people would get out of that back in the day mind frame. Just because you’re black it doesn’t mean you have to act ghetto. Just because you’re white doesn’t mean you’re gonna be proper. I just wish people would stop judging and stereotyping people by their race because at the end of the day your race doesn’t define who you are.

Girl you’re better than me, I would have had him crying by the end of the conversation.

Love always, Letitia Danielle // February 25, 2011 at 4:52 am

Oh WOW @ your uncle. That’s sheer insanity to me. And YES, had he said I talked white, I would’ve been pissed. That’s even more offensive. It’s one thing to speak properly. You can’t talk white! You just CAN’T… you can talk like a valley girl though lol (which has been attributed to that race).

You’re exactly right. Your race doesn’t wholly define who you are. I hate that people equate blackness w/ ghettoness. WTF type of mess is that??

Love always, Mimi // February 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Oooh that’s pretty offensive. It really saddens me how much black people really need to get it together. It’s terrible how much slavery has left a stain on our people and our culture. Ignorance should never be accepted or praised.

I mean you would think at the least, that blacks would atleast try to mimic the behaviors of those ahead in the social stratification or economic system (i.e whites) to get ahead. But blacks won’t even do that. But in all fairness, stereotypes play a powerful role and in the government invested more into black schools I dont think this would be such a prominent issue.

Love always, Natasha Solae // February 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Yay, glad you remember me :P. But that would be wise- investing in Black schools to get them up to par. And I feel like a lot of them tend not to strive to do more because they’re so focused on getting money fast w/o much work (i.e. drug dealing business).

Love always, Mimi // March 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Oh yes and I just wanted to say. Yes, I used to have the domain abstractbeaute.com and I definitely remember you, Mimi, doll.

Love always, Natasha Solae // February 26, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I probably would have slapped the jerk. Some people don’t know their limits. I know some people who just don’t realize it when they are starting to get offensive.
As for guys, most of them are just plain idiots. That’s really stereotypical, but there’s a lot of people like that in the world. You’re not always going to like the people that you meet, but honestly. What a jerk!

Love always, Misha // February 26, 2011 at 7:05 pm

He’s definitely one of those types to say something offensive but be totally oblivious to the fact that he rubbed someone the wrong way… He was really off and me and my friend really were concerned for the well-being of our lives at one point. Hope I don’t run into him again!

Love always, Mimi // March 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Wow, what?? For him to make an assumption like that and in the process basically offending you, is just wrong.

I have worked in Chicago, where the majority of my coworkers were from the South Side and I have to say that their English is incredibly bad, but as mentioned in a comment before, that has nothing to do with the fact that they are “regular black” (say what?), but with the area they live in and their upbringing – if that is all they know, they won’t know better.

Love always, Noelle // February 27, 2011 at 3:36 am

You’re exactly right. It DOES have to do w/ your upbringing. Your environment plays a role, too. I actually was raised on the south side of Chicago. Thank goodness I lived a sheltered life there and had awesome parents. Even when I was working this past summer, my co-workers assumed I was from the suburbs (which I’m not) because of my demeanor and the way I speak. I DID get offended again that day but not as much as this past time.

Love always, Mimi // March 3, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Thank you for your comment on my post! You are so right, there is no use in just complaining about others and about your life if you’re not going to do anything about it. Can’t stand people with such attitudes!

Love always, Noelle // February 28, 2011 at 8:10 am

ROFL! This whole situation is beyond me! I thought “acting black/white” was something crazy to say..but speaking proper means you’re not “Black” enough. Lord, what is the world coming to!!!

Love always, Tamara // March 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

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16 Responses to “Blacks don’t speak properly??”